Burned steaks are delicious!

Dear Olivia,

A dog sniffing a laptop and trying to type.
Illustration by Vanessa Lennon

Your brother built a ramp for me! Did you see it? It’s fantastic! It makes your ears flap when you run and jump off of it! Heaven! You HAVE to try it!

Plus, every time I did a trick I got a treat. Yesterday was the perfect day—almost.

I wasn’t thrilled about getting a bath. I like playing in water. I love the way water feels, and I love the wonderful smell I give off when I’m wet. But baths are a little like torture.

I’m not supposed to play in the water or splash it around. I’m expected to stand there and get shampooed, but I don’t get to have any fun. What good is all that water if you’re not going to splash it? Your mom has GOT to get her priorities straight.

Still, your mom was probably still upset because the deck caught on fire. Your dad was grilling steaks while I was running up and down the ramp. I made it very clear to your dad that Babbie and I wanted steaks too, but he actually made us move away from the grill!


I started to go back to the ramp but Babbie started her I’m-a-Jack-Russell-so-I-hop routine. This means somethings wrong. Or that someone has food. It just depends. I looked back and saw this weird black ring starting around the bottom where it touched the wood.

I tried to paw your dad to show him, but he told me to go away. I pawed at him again and whined. He rubbed my ears and told me I was a pretty girl. I am, but that’s not what I wanted. Then your mom came out and asked what was burning. It got funny after that.

Your dad was running for water. He came back with the hose spraying but he slipped and water went everywhere! Babbie and I kept pawing at your mom and barking. We were trying to jump at her to keep her safe. She was trying to grab us saying she needed us away from the flames. Your brother was yelling that the house was on fire.

It was craziness!

Your dad finally got the fire put out and your mom ordered pizza. They threw out the steaks! I mean, sure, they were black and smokey, but they probably still tasted okay! Your mom and dad are weird. They don’t understand meat. Or baths. It’s kind of sad.

Your mom said she is going to put a plant where the fire burned a hole in the deck so that no one knows it’s a burned spot. I know. Anyone with a nose is gonna know. You can still smell the crispiness.

I’m off to play with my squeaky toy. It annoys LuLu, so it’s my favorite hobby.

Have fun at school!

Jamie

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