Dear Ethan & Olivia, I am glad that your teacher FINALLY remembered to send me tuna! She asked that this week I discuss thankfulness. No problem! I am sure that she is thankful for me and my letters, just as you are, and just as you should be! You humans always show that you don’t … Continue reading Ignore the suckage, be thankful!
Dear Ethan & Olivia, Another day, another lesson! So, I heard your mom was giving a special lecture on cereal killers and I went to see what kinds of cereal are involved. I wondered if she was talking about froot loops, or cheerios, or raisin bran, or the oat n’goats stuff your dad likes? Is … Continue reading Cereal killers are NOT what you’d think!
Dear Ethan & Olivia, Well, LAST week did not work out as planned! Whose cockamamie idea was it to take me to the vet? Do you people think I WANTED all those shots and bubble wands placed in inappropriate places? That so-called physical was so inordinately invasive that I got sick after! Have you seen … Continue reading Just all kinds of wrong!
Dear Ethan & Olivia, Well, even though your teacher forgot my tuna for today’s letter, I am writing to you anyway because WOW you humans have problems! What is WRONG with you human-people??? Never mind, I already know. You guys are addicts! Seriously! ALL OF YOU! You’re addicted to sweets, coffee, and pills! I’ve never … Continue reading All humans are addicts!