Funky Fido Party Time!

Dear Olivia,

A dog sniffing a laptop and trying to type.
Illustration by Vanessa Lennon

Last night was great! When your parents took you to the park Babbie and I had a couple of friends over. I like friends.

Friends are fun. Until they eat all of your food or take your ball. Then friends are stupid.

You and I are best friends, right? Friends share dinner. You can have my food and I can have yours, right?

Dog friends are crazy. Or is it bad? I heard that bad means good, but that doesn’t seem right. When your mom says “bad dog” it doesn’t seem like she’s happy.

My friends and I danced to your sister’s disco cd. I’m telling you, poodles may look funny but they sure can dance. The Funky Chicken became the Funky Fido!

Someone filled the bubble blower with whipped cream instead of bubbles. I laughed so hard I almost lifted a leg! 

We jumped to catch the cream in our mouths. It was awesome! Babbie got covered in cream splatter, but she licked herself clean. It was like a bonus!

She’s kind of sticky now. We all offered to help her her lick her fur but she refused. She gets weird about dogs licking her rear end. Weird. Sniffs are okay, but licks make her grumpy.

Babbie had stashed some food under the couch. Remember when your mom got mad ‘cuz somebody ate all the leftover ham? Yeah, sort of sorry about that. We wanted to have food for our friends.

See what I said there? Friends give food to other friends. Like ham, and chicken, and steak, and whatever your mom cooks for dinner. Except that spaghetti squash stuff.

The sauce was good, but that was NOT spaghetti. Just plain weird.

LuLu and Trixie were totally rude. They wouldn’t come downstairs at all. One of the poodles made a joke about cat pinatas and they got all mad. It was a joke!

We weren’t going to hit the cats to see if Pupperoni or something came out. I don’t want to know WHAT would come out of LuLu if we hit her with a bat. Her eyes are brown and green for a reason. Yuck.

Have fun at school. Don’t forget what I said about sharing food!

Your friend,



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