Time to plant a fish farm!

Dear Ethan,

A cat typing at a computer.
Illustration by Vanessa Lennon

I know that you always want to earn extra money and, quite frankly, so do I. I never seem to have any money at all, not even pocket change! I don’t actually have any pockets, but I do have places where I could hide money if I actually had a few dollars. Where is NONE of your business,

I have needs and wants, just like you. Mostly needs, actually, wants are for stupid humans. I need to have fresh fish every day. I also need a massaging recliner, but I’m willing to let you buy that for me for my birthday.

Anyway, I’ve figured out how you and I can both be happy. You know all that room you have in the backyard? Well, why not build a fish farm? See, you could grow fish. You could sell some to the fish market, and I could eat the rest. That would be great, wouldn’t it?

I’m not quite sure how fish farming works; we’d probably need to get a book or something so we’d have instructions.

Do we dig the ground up in rows, like when humans plant corn? Do the fish grow on bushes or on trees? How do they end up in a stream once they’re grown? Do they fall off of the tree and into the water, or does someone pick them off of a bush and then throw them in a river? How long before the fish are ripe enough to pick? 

It’s probably going to be very complicated and a lot of hard work, so you’d better get started. Just make sure you plant enough fish seeds so that we grow lots of nice, juicy fish. That way Trixie can eat some too.

I’m off to scratch Jamie. Have a good day at school!

Your new business partner,



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